Already got asked if we're dating
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
