Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
