YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
