We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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