Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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