Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
