He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
