awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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