Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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