Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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