Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
