I wish they made helmets for livers.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's shark week go big or go home
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
