Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
