So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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