I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
