Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
