it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
