I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize