no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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