We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
