So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
