happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
