will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
