I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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