We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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