oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
