i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
