we made out on top of his cat.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
