She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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