ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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