Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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