I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
