you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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