Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
