Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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