he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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