If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my phone needs a breathalizer
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
