WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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