Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
