Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
