I want to stick my p in your. b.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
