She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
