yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
