The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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