we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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