he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
