3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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