She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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