I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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