ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
