Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
