She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
